Participant Guide
Know before you go
Everything you need to know before joining a Spread the Hug event.
In just a couple of hours, you’ll hug dozens of humans (sometimes well over a hundred) and make some kind of positive impact on every single one you embrace.
Every hug has the potential to lift someone’s mood, open a heart or soften the day for someone observing from a distance.
Why we do it
Everyone brings their own “why.” Here’s the core of mine:
For me, this project is about helping build a culture of kindness. It’s about breaking down invisible walls between people, softening fear, and opening hearts—even if only for a moment. It’s also about showing the world what’s possible.
We do this by opening our arms to people we may have never met—and may never meet again.
Our signs don’t say “Free Hugs.” They ask for the hug. That means every person who walks over has done something kind for a stranger. Circle Cards are our way of saying thank you—small gifts meant to be passed on. (More on those below)
How we hold this thing together
I’ve been hugging strangers in public for over ten years—from Detroit to Atlanta to Boulder, to Times Square and beyond—on city street corners, outside stadiums, at political rallies, protest marches, parades, airport terminals, shopping malls, and all kinds of festivals.
Along the way, many have joined, and I don’t take it for granted. While I love doing this solo, it feels more supportive, and a lot more fun, when it’s a shared experience. Thank you for showing up and putting yourself out there. It means the world when others step in to hug alongside me.
After thousands of hugs and countless outings, I’ve learned a lot about safety, respect, boundaries, presence, and how to make this experience feel good for everyone involved. We’re still learning and refining as we go.
More than anything else, I care about how we show up and conduct ourselves. The aim is to create a space that feels positive, purposeful, and supportive, so that when the event is over, people walk away thinking, “wow… that was amazing.”
My ask is that you honor the spirit of the requests and guidelines in this document. That’s how we help make the experience feel good for everyone.
I’m grateful you’re helping shape what this can become. If anything feels off or unclear, please reach out before the event.
Who we hug
We hug everyone.
If you’re showing up to hug, you’re opening your arms to all people. It’s totally natural to feel more comfortable around some folks than others—that’s part of being human. But this is an invitation to practice meeting each person with openness, curiosity, and a warm heart. I encourage you to lean into any fear or hesitation. There’s often something beautiful on the other side of it.
We hug lots of kids too, but please don’t directly ask young children for hugs unless their adult is clearly inviting it.
Occasionally, you may encounter someone who appears unbathed or homeless. If initiating a hug doesn’t feel comfortable, that’s okay. But if they approach you openly, I hope you’ll meet them with kindness. I don't especially love hugging people with poor hygiene, but that person may need it more than anyone. A rejected hug can sting. Imagine how it would feel if it were you.
Use common sense when it comes to germs. We don’t want to ‘spread the bug’! But if you’re concerned about catching something, it may be best to sit this one out—we’d still love your help behind the camera. And if you’re not feeling well, please rest up and join us another time.
We gift Circle Cards
Since the very first event in April 2016—long before there was a project name or website—we’ve gifted everyone we hugged a non-trackable “Thank you for being AWESOME” card. Over time, those evolved into trackable Circle Cards.
Because our signs ask for the hug, the person stepping forward has just done something kind for us.
Our whole project is dependent on the kindness of strangers. If no one hugged us, we couldn't continue. The card is how we say thank you, and we mean it.
We gift them as small tokens of genuine appreciation. People love them. These cards are meant to be passed on. It’s a simple way to lift someone’s day and extend the moment beyond the hug.
Each card has a unique 12-digit code and a QR on the back, so you can track where it goes.
You’ll be able to follow the journey of the cards you’ve gifted—seeing where they travel, who they reach, and what stories unfold.
Gifting Circle Cards is one of the most meaningful parts of the experience. It’s part of how we keep the kindness flowing after the event.
We provide the cards—they're free for you. If it feels right, please offer a card to everyone you hug, and try to make the moment feel special—like handing someone a thank-you gift. These small acts can ripple out further than we can see.
Learn more about Circle Cards
What to expect
(at an event)
Here’s how things flow:
We’ll start by gathering and covering the essentials. That takes about 45 minutes.
Then we hug for a little over two hours. Feel free to take a break anytime, bathroom, breather, whatever.
We wrap up with a 20-minute debrief and a little wind-down time together.
It’s normal to feel a little impatient or eager to start during the opening briefing. Don’t worry—you’ll get plenty of time to hug. Two hours is a lot more than it sounds!
Once you’ve attended a full briefing, you can plug right in at future events without needing to repeat it, unless you want to.
Please try your best to be on time or a little early.
Give yourself an extra 15 minutes to find parking and the meeting spot. Some locations can get hectic, and rounding everyone up can feel like herding cats. It’s also tough to give repeat briefings to late arrivals, so being punctual really helps.
Keep an eye on your phone so you can receive updates if needed.
Take care of yourself before you arrive. Eat something and hydrate.
You don't need to bring much. We provide the signs and Circle Cards. Just bring yourself, water, and a snack if you want it.
You’re welcome to bring a backpack or bag. We lock them all together and secure them to a fixed post using a luggage cable. But be smart with your stuff. It’s best to leave anything valuable at home or locked in your car.
What to expect
(inside your body)
You may feel a wide range of emotions during the event—excitement, nervousness, euphoria, fear, self-consciousness, rejection, maybe even a little boredom. That’s completely normal. This is a great opportunity to practice staying present with whatever comes up. Breathe and let it move through you.
The sting of rejection can sometimes be tough to handle. If you hug long enough, you’ll have stretches of a few minutes at a time when no one is hugging you. It happens to all of us, including me. It doesn’t always feel great, but it’s a chance to notice what comes up and breathe through it.
And if you spend enough time hugging—like more than an hour—you’ll have moments when multiple people want to hug you at once. You might even have a little line forming! It feels amazing. Enjoy it. And then that too will pass, and you’ll once again have stretches when no one is hugging you.
Both moments—the quiet stretches and the overflowing ones—are part of the experience.
How we engage with people
We invite hugs with our signs, our words, and most of all… our presence. Friendly eye contact and a warm smile go a long way.
We stay stationary and wait for people to approach. Let others initiate by walking up to you. Please, please (please) do not walk around with your sign, stand in the middle of a walkway, or extend your sign into the flow of foot traffic. Pick a good spot and stick to it.
You can absolutely ask for hugs, and it’s encouraged. You’ll get a lot more hugs if you do. But never plead or persist if someone declines. There are lots of reasons someone may not want to hug: they might be shy, not in the mood, concerned about germs, dealing with trauma, not into hugging strangers, or whatever. Respect the “no.”
And please, no “carnival barking” (FREE HUGS!!! 📢). You can absolutely use your voice to connect with someone walking by or get their attention, but keep it natural. Avoid loud, general calls for hugs that sound like you’re a vendor selling peanuts or beer at a baseball game.
When you do hug, be sensitive to each person. Some will lean in big, others may go for a quick side-hug. That’s okay. There’s no right way to hug. Let each one be what it is. Don’t force a long squeeze. Stay present, and release when they begin to let go, or when it feels right. Even a brief “bro hug” is great if the other person isn’t much of a hugger. The goal is positive connection, not to force a long, lingering, tantric-heart hug.
All of this comes down to one thing: every hug should be clearly welcome. Unwanted physical contact—even when it comes from a good place—can cross a legal line.
We’re in public space, and everything we do is voluntary and consent-based. We’re not here to pressure, block, or bother anyone.
Wherever we are, it’s important to be respectful of nearby businesses—especially vendor booths at festivals. We’re generally welcome everywhere we go. In fact, event organizers have often thanked us for being there. Let’s not blow it.
Be careful not to block walkways, entrances, or get in the way of people interacting with a booth. We never want someone to feel hesitant about visiting a shop because we’re in the way.
In over ten years and countless events, we’ve never had a serious issue with people or businesses. Let's keep it that way.
Let your personality shine! Be you. Just stay grounded, respectful, and… don’t make things too weird 😉
Our team (for 3 hours)
We’re only together for about three hours. Let’s make the most of it. Let’s keep our energy focused and supportive.
We keep our group small—ideally no more than six or seven people—because it can get a little crowded and chaotic if too many people are hugging at once. This isn’t meant to feel like a hug mob. It’s more intimate than that.
You may run into friends or end up chatting with strangers. Let’s enjoy those interactions. Feel free to chat and connect, but try to stay mindful of why we’re here.
We want to balance socializing with hugging. Long side conversations can swallow the experience. So let’s try not to let conversations go on foreverrrrrr. (I have to remind myself of this too.)
Hopefully, we all get to chat and get to know each other a bit. But let’s save the deeper convos for after the event.
There’s no pressure to keep hugging nonstop. Please feel free to take a break anytime, bathroom, breather, whatever.
If you’d like to stop completely, that’s totally cool. If you can, we’d love for you to stick around until the end. And if you’re not hugging, helping behind the camera is a great way to contribute.
If someone off the street asks to jump in mid-event, please direct them to whoever is leading the event. We don't let anyone start hugging without first reading this guide and attending a briefing. We'll encourage them to join at a future outing.
Capturing events
(filming)
We take photos and videos to show others what’s possible—and to spread a little more hope and optimism in the world.
But there’s also a more personal reason. We can’t see the expression on someone’s face while we’re hugging them, but the pictures reveal what’s missed in the moment. It’s moving to see, and it never gets old.
Being comfortable appearing in photos or videos is part of what it means to volunteer with us. That said, if you ever see a photo or clip of yourself that you’d rather not have shared, just let us know and we’ll do our best to remove it.
Cameras also lend the event a little more street cred. In some settings, a visible camera can help people feel safer and more curious. And if something unexpected were to happen (which is rare), having it on video might come in handy.
Roughly 99.6% of people (that’s scientific-ish) don’t mind being filmed. But if someone asks not to be recorded, we honor that. And if someone wants a photo deleted, we delete it right away—no questions, no convincing. We always keep the cameras in plain sight—never hidden or sneaky.
Sometimes we’re lucky to have a small photo/video crew (2–3 people). When we don’t, there’s no pressure to capture footage. If you’d like to help document the event, feel free to take turns behind the camera, especially if others in the group would like a few moments captured.
How we dress
We dress super casually, but please be mindful and modest in your clothing choices.
This isn’t about restricting self-expression. It’s about helping everyone feel safe and comfortable. Overly sexual vibes can attract the wrong kind of attention, and sweaty, sticky hugs aren’t good for anyone.
These guidelines apply to everyone, regardless of gender—including camera/ film crew and anyone helping in a supportive role.
- No boy shorts or spandex-style shorts.
- No skin-tight tops or bottoms.
- No sheer or see-through clothing that shows undergarments.
- No bare bellies/midriffs or exposed cleavage (chest area) from low-cut or deep V-neck tops.
- No tank tops—sweaty armpits pressing up against dozens (or hundreds!) of strangers is… [fill in the blank].
- No political messages on clothing, no matter how virtuous. Positive messages of love, kindness, etc., are welcome.
- No large or conspicuous brand logos. Small logos are fine. Just please don’t show up like a sponsored race car driver.
Please come clean, smell clean, and look clean. Go easy on strong perfumes, colognes, or other intense scents (like patchouli 😉). Some people are sensitive. If you’re a smoker, please also make sure there’s no lingering cigarette scent on your clothing or breath.
Dress for the weather. If it is sunny, we try to find some shade, but no guarantees. Put on sunscreen if you need it. If it might get chilly, bring an extra layer.
You can check out past event photos to get a sense of what people usually wear. If you spot a few tank tops or sleeveless dresses, just know we’ve refined a few things over the years.
Politics and religion are taking the day off
All are welcome to join our group regardless of political and religious/ spiritual views, so long as those views don’t promote hatred toward any group of people. I won’t spell it out, but I trust you get the spirit of what that means.
We may not agree on everything and that’s okay. We’re not here to debate or discuss issues. For a couple of hours, we’re simply connecting as humans, beyond politics, religion, and other ideologies.
Please steer clear of political and religious conversations entirely, even if they seem light, well-intentioned, or aligned with your views. That applies to both people passing by and conversations within our own group.
What starts as a friendly dialogue can easily become a source of tension or distraction. It’s like disturbing a hornet’s nest.
We’re not here to push anything but kindness.
Keeping your cool
Negative comments are very rare. It feels like fewer than one in 10,000 people who walk by say anything rude. If someone does say something snarky or mean, your best move is to just ignore it and let it roll off. Usually, that’s all it takes.
If you know you have a short fuse or tend to react quickly when someone is rude, that’s perfectly normal, but this may not be the best fit for you right now. The vibe we’re aiming for is more Zen garden than Twitter thread.
Stay aware of your surroundings. If something or someone feels off, trust your gut and stay alert. If anything ever feels tense or uncomfortable, stay calm, try to de-escalate, and get the attention of the person leading the event.
The truth is, as long as we’re polite and respectful to everyone, the odds of a negative encounter are extremely low.
What matters most
Key things to remember
- No pleading or persisting if someone says no to a hug.
- Don't force a long hug. Let each person set the tone.
- No roaming with your sign. Stay in one spot near the edge of walkways.
- Don’t walk people down. Always let them fully approach you.
- No carnival barking 📣 Avoid loud, undirected calls for hugs.
- Don’t directly ask young kids for hugs unless their adult is clearly encouraging it.
- No political or religious conversations, even if they seem light or friendly.
- Ignore rude or hostile comments. Just let it pass.
- Delete photos immediately if someone asks, without trying to persuade.
- Follow the dress code. No exceptions. (See: How we dress)
This guide matters... but the real thing happens when you step onto the sidewalk and open your arms.
You don’t need to do this perfectly. Just show up with presence and a willingness to meet people where they are.
Sometimes it feels like hugging strangers in public shouldn't be possible, especially in a world as divided and guarded as this one. But it is possible. And when you step into it, it's like becoming lucid in your nighttime dream, bending reality, even if just for a moment.
Let’s bend reality together.
- Mark
